Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.

Just a typical day with the twin-unit

Brother: -turns fan on-
Me: Hey, thanks!
Brother: -comes back, tries to knock it over, fails…glares- …you son of a bitch…

*5 seconds later*

Brother: -comes in with pepsi bottle- drink this
Me: -chugs it-
Brother: Alright, fatty! Damn!
Me: -burps-
Brother: You’re so gross today!



chronic-genderbender:

jaredsadalecki:

breaking news: obama is not real. obama is a figment of our imaginations. this country is being run by our imaginary friend, barack obama

Breaking News: Mitt Romney campaigned against an imaginary man and still lost the presidency.

(Source: jaredsadalecki)



I doubt this actually happened, cause its just too “movie perfect” to have really happened…but awwwwww.


So, I was minding my own business, watching Netflix, when a mother fucking spider crawls across my face on my pillow. Naturally, I made a sound like a dying walrus and jumped up, flipping on my light. The little asshole is nowhere to be seen. I sit down in the middle of my bed and wait, staring intently, hoping to see it. The next thing I know, the little demon is crawling on my arm. I slapped myself so hard, I have a bruise. A hand shaped bruise. I start cussing at it, and cursing it to go back to the deepest depths of hell that it crawled out of, when it starts crawling on my dog. He could give a rat’s ass, and just chills there while the long legged bastard uses him as a personal playground. I look away for a SECOND, turn back around and the asshole Michael Meyer’d on me and disappeared. While hoping my dog ate it, I’m not taking any chances, and have kicked the other dog out of her bed on the floor and am writing this from there…

Moral of the story? Don’t turn your back on a spider unless you wanna spend your night in the dog bed.


That’s what trust is: silently hoping people don’t stab you in the back while you’re not around to defend yourself.

– A friend after discussing my relationship worries/troubles.


I found a song to represent how I’m feeling about my situation right now…

"I wrote this song to make you feel alright today
I wrote it to make everything alright
And I would sing it every single day if you would say we’’re fine

I can feel your heart is beating careful
‘Cus sometimes I pretend that I don’’t care
I can’’t believe I never let you know how much I need you here

‘Cus I will fight and I will beg
I just want to hear you say
That tonight will be alright if you will stay

It’s times I feel like you don’’t know me anymore
And other times I think you know me best
I could love you better but I’’d never wanna love you less

So run away and I’’ll be runnin next to you
I’’d never let you run away alone
Before you run too far away I think that I should let you know

‘Cus I will fight and I will beg
I just want to hear you say
That tonight will be alright if you will stay

So put your hand in mine
We’’ll be fine, I know
I know it, I
If you stay tonight
I promise I will show you

‘Cus I will fight and I will beg
I just want to hear you say
That tonight you will fight

‘Cus I will fight and I will beg
I just want to hear you say
That tonight will be alright if you will stay

So put your hand in mine
We’’ll be fine, I know
I know it, I
If you stay tonight
I promise I will show you I will fight”



trekkie-with-a-tardis:

professorsugoi:

the-bored-cat:

What does kindness get you? This.

image

OKAY WTF IS IT WITH ASIAN LIFE INSURANCE COMMERCIALS? WHY DO THEY FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE CRY TO SELL THEIR PRODUCTS?


Via Strangers Like Me



Kummerspeck (German): Literally “grief bacon”…the excess weight you gain by emotion-caused eating…

^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

I found a name for it.


1298
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